The price that Christ paid

I've been realizing more and more that I do not "get it". Christ's death on the cross is easy to talk about as if I do "get it", but I don't. I don't get the depth and severity of my sin. I don't get the sacrifice He made when He literally suffered and was beaten and died on the cross. I don't get what it must have been like for Him to have be separated from the Father for three days before conquering death. I just don't get it.

If I did, I think my life would be drastically different.

I've already said before that if I truly "got it", there is no way I could let a single person enter and exit my life – even for a brief moment – without telling them what Christ had done for them.

If I truly got it, I would be different. I would not miss a single moment of time with Him. I would not ever conciously choose sin or to disobey a direction from the Holy Spirit.

On a practical note, I would never inwardly groan when Peyton asked me to pray one more time for something, and I would take every opportunity to read her Bible to her, tell her stories and pray with her.

I want to "get it".

I don't just want an emotional, watch The Passion and cry, experience. I want to truly understand, in the depths of my soul, the depravity of my own sin (although I often think that if God did show me it all at once, the weight would be too much to bear) and what Christ's sacrifice really means.