Okay, this is just a rambling, journal-type post, and I realize that a lot of it is written in Christianese, but it just seems to be the easiest way to explain it...
I know that mountain peaks and valleys are part of growing in our relationship with the Lord, and I know that true growth happens in the valleys, so to speak, but I think I'm coming down off the mountain right now, and I don't like it!
I'm so thankful that God gives me the experience of times with Him when it feels like I'm on the mountain-top. These are times when I love to read His Word, have no trouble motivating myself to do my devotionals, feel like I'm learning something new everyday, etc. Unfortuantely, my if-you-can't-be-perfect-then-you-might-as-well-quit personality does not do well in the valley, and I want that to change.
I think my last mountain-top experience was at the beginning of 2006 as well, and honestly, when it ended, I got pretty stagnant. It's not that I fell away from the Lord or anything, but I definitely stopped growing.
I don't want that to happen again. I want to continue investing time and energy into my relationship with God. I want to read through the Bible this year, completely, not giving up halfway through or less. I want to continue to make prayer a part of every hour of every day.
Honestly, it's not only for myself and for my God (because He deserves so much more than I could give!), but also for my girls. The heritage I want to pass down to them is one of relying totally on God, seeking Him daily and growing in my walk with Him. What greater gift could I give them?
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Psalms
You know, I have heard people in the past talk about how much they love to just read the Psalms, and how it's like a balm for their spirit. Honestly, I never got it! I would read two or three Psalms a day, longing for that feeling but just not feeling it.
Well, the current Bible reading plan I'm using has me read one Psalm a day. Reading them one at a time, I finally get it! I think it's because I'm not rushing through them anymore, so I'm able to pick out verses that literally make me want to sing to my God.
There are a lot of verses about David praying for deliverance from his enemies, and I don't relate to those very much, but mixed in with every single Psalm are truths about God's character, our position in Him, His love for us, and so on.
So what I've been doing is writing those verses down in a notebook. I didn't think of this at first, but as I'm reading Praying God's Word, I can see how these pages will become a prayer journal of sorts where I can just humble myself and pray through some of the verses.
That is a key thing that stands out to me in these verses: David knew his position. He was the king, and yet he bowed before the King of Kings, acknowledging that he was nothing apart from God.
Today's verses that really stood out to me are from Psalm 17:
Psalm 17:4,
"Concerning the works of men,
By the word of Your lips,
I have kept away from the paths of the destroyer."
Okay, if you would have had me read Psalm 17 last week, I never would have picked out this verse, but after being bombarded with message after message about God's grace and praying God's Word, this verse speaks directly to my heart. David's not saying, "By my own glory and righteousness and holiness, I have kept away from sin." He's saying, "By the word of Your lips, God, I have been able to resist sin." By the word of Your lips. Wow!
Psalm 17:8
"Keep me as the apple of Your eye;
Hide me under the shadow of Your wings."
Mostly, I just love the intimacy with God that this verse illustrates. God loves us as the apple of His eye. I believe that the original text refers to the apple of God's eye in the sense of the pupil...a part of our body that we carefully protect and guard. He also hides us under His wings as a mother hen hides her chicks. My Bible commentary refers to it as being not only a place of protection, but also one of warmth and love.
Well, the current Bible reading plan I'm using has me read one Psalm a day. Reading them one at a time, I finally get it! I think it's because I'm not rushing through them anymore, so I'm able to pick out verses that literally make me want to sing to my God.
There are a lot of verses about David praying for deliverance from his enemies, and I don't relate to those very much, but mixed in with every single Psalm are truths about God's character, our position in Him, His love for us, and so on.
So what I've been doing is writing those verses down in a notebook. I didn't think of this at first, but as I'm reading Praying God's Word, I can see how these pages will become a prayer journal of sorts where I can just humble myself and pray through some of the verses.
That is a key thing that stands out to me in these verses: David knew his position. He was the king, and yet he bowed before the King of Kings, acknowledging that he was nothing apart from God.
Today's verses that really stood out to me are from Psalm 17:
Psalm 17:4,
"Concerning the works of men,
By the word of Your lips,
I have kept away from the paths of the destroyer."
Okay, if you would have had me read Psalm 17 last week, I never would have picked out this verse, but after being bombarded with message after message about God's grace and praying God's Word, this verse speaks directly to my heart. David's not saying, "By my own glory and righteousness and holiness, I have kept away from sin." He's saying, "By the word of Your lips, God, I have been able to resist sin." By the word of Your lips. Wow!
Psalm 17:8
"Keep me as the apple of Your eye;
Hide me under the shadow of Your wings."
Mostly, I just love the intimacy with God that this verse illustrates. God loves us as the apple of His eye. I believe that the original text refers to the apple of God's eye in the sense of the pupil...a part of our body that we carefully protect and guard. He also hides us under His wings as a mother hen hides her chicks. My Bible commentary refers to it as being not only a place of protection, but also one of warmth and love.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Inexplicable, Undescribable, Undeserved Grace
In the past few week, God has been revealing so much to me about His grace. It seems like everywhere I go, especially in the past week, the focus is on grace. It started with our small group, and then that afternoon I picked up Praying God's Word, which is about using God's Word and relying on God's grace to break strongholds in our lives. And then church yesterday was about "relationship versus religion", and our pastor strongly emphasized that the Christian life is not about rule-following.
The most awesome illustration of God's grace for me, and one I don't think I will ever forget, was from the video that came from the Seeking God Bible study our small group is doing. The speaker talked about our choice between going to Mount Sinai (where the Law/the Ten Commandments were handed down) or to Mount Calvary (where Jesus died on the cross). Although it's obviously figurative, I just can't get that picture out of my head.
When I struggle with a persistent sin – impatience and pride come to mind – I can choose to go to Mount Sinai in my own strength and try, try, try to follow the Law. But I will fail. On the other hand, I can choose to fall on my knees before Mount Calvary, and that's where grace and victory is found!
I'm sure I'm not explaining it as well as this speaker did, but it's been a truly life-changing principle for me!
Then I come home and start reading Beth Moore's Praying God's Word, and although she doesn't use the same illustration, it is all about relying on God to change us rather than on our own strength.
This has always been a struggle for me because it feels like such a cop-out to say, "God, I can't change myself. You change me." I mean, I don't think He expects us to just sit back and wait for the lightning bolt from Heaven to change us. BUT in reading Praying God's Word, I think I have a new understanding of it. It's not that we should just sit around on our butts waiting for Him to change us. While there are many areas where we can't change ourselves (strongholds, if you will), what we CAN actively do is pray through God's Word, crying out for Him to meet us where we're at (at the foot of Mount Calvary).
The most awesome illustration of God's grace for me, and one I don't think I will ever forget, was from the video that came from the Seeking God Bible study our small group is doing. The speaker talked about our choice between going to Mount Sinai (where the Law/the Ten Commandments were handed down) or to Mount Calvary (where Jesus died on the cross). Although it's obviously figurative, I just can't get that picture out of my head.
When I struggle with a persistent sin – impatience and pride come to mind – I can choose to go to Mount Sinai in my own strength and try, try, try to follow the Law. But I will fail. On the other hand, I can choose to fall on my knees before Mount Calvary, and that's where grace and victory is found!
I'm sure I'm not explaining it as well as this speaker did, but it's been a truly life-changing principle for me!
Then I come home and start reading Beth Moore's Praying God's Word, and although she doesn't use the same illustration, it is all about relying on God to change us rather than on our own strength.
This has always been a struggle for me because it feels like such a cop-out to say, "God, I can't change myself. You change me." I mean, I don't think He expects us to just sit back and wait for the lightning bolt from Heaven to change us. BUT in reading Praying God's Word, I think I have a new understanding of it. It's not that we should just sit around on our butts waiting for Him to change us. While there are many areas where we can't change ourselves (strongholds, if you will), what we CAN actively do is pray through God's Word, crying out for Him to meet us where we're at (at the foot of Mount Calvary).
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I've been thinking a lot lately...
...about WHY I believe in God. I can't see Him. I can't audibly hear Him. I can't touch Him. And yet I know He is real.
Why, though? Why do I believe in God?
The best – and only – answer I can give to that is I see His hand on my life. I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit in my spirit. I can feel Him holding me and guiding me when I need comfort or direction.
Thinking about this has made me see even more "God moments" in the past few weeks. I believe we all have these kinds of moments, and we can choose to see them as coincidence or just random acts of the universe, or we can see God's hand in them. I see them as God's hand on my life because I believe that He truly cares for me in the big and little things.
Some of them are serious, like the additional blessings we received after making the tough decision to tithe a large amount of gift money we received.
Some are goofy, like my belief that God intentionally had us receive 27 Christmas cards because He knew that it would drive me nuts (and make me laugh at His humor) to not have a nice number like 26 that would allow us to pray for each family twice during the year!
Some are spiritual, like the way that God lead me to pick up Praying God's Word the day after an intense small group where we talked about relying on God's grace for change in our lives rather than our own strength.
But each one – big or little – reminds me and strengthens my belief that not only is there a God but also that He cares for me and loves me intimately.
Why, though? Why do I believe in God?
The best – and only – answer I can give to that is I see His hand on my life. I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit in my spirit. I can feel Him holding me and guiding me when I need comfort or direction.
Thinking about this has made me see even more "God moments" in the past few weeks. I believe we all have these kinds of moments, and we can choose to see them as coincidence or just random acts of the universe, or we can see God's hand in them. I see them as God's hand on my life because I believe that He truly cares for me in the big and little things.
Some of them are serious, like the additional blessings we received after making the tough decision to tithe a large amount of gift money we received.
Some are goofy, like my belief that God intentionally had us receive 27 Christmas cards because He knew that it would drive me nuts (and make me laugh at His humor) to not have a nice number like 26 that would allow us to pray for each family twice during the year!
Some are spiritual, like the way that God lead me to pick up Praying God's Word the day after an intense small group where we talked about relying on God's grace for change in our lives rather than our own strength.
But each one – big or little – reminds me and strengthens my belief that not only is there a God but also that He cares for me and loves me intimately.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
While I'm at it...
One of my all time favorite Bible stories is Noah and the Ark. There are a few verses in this story that to me tell the whole story (and none of them has to do with the actual flood or the ark), and every time I read them, they make me pause and think...
Genesis 6:8
But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.
Genesis 6:22
This Noah did; according to all that God commanded him, so he did.
Genesis 7:16
...went in as God commanded him; and the Lord shut him in. (Wow, I love that verse...the Lord shut him in...that is my favorite phrase in the entire Bible)
Genesis 8:1
Then God remembered Noah.
The first two verses reflect Noah's character. He found grace or favor in the eyes of the Lord because he was upright, and he – like Abraham – was quick to obey...not only quickly but completely as well.
The second two reflect God's love and care for us...He shut Noah in the ark for protection and provision in the midst of chaos, suffering and destruction. I can think of so many times that He has figuratively "shut me in" in the midst of these things as well, my miscarriages in particular.
Genesis 6:8
But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.
Genesis 6:22
This Noah did; according to all that God commanded him, so he did.
Genesis 7:16
...went in as God commanded him; and the Lord shut him in. (Wow, I love that verse...the Lord shut him in...that is my favorite phrase in the entire Bible)
Genesis 8:1
Then God remembered Noah.
The first two verses reflect Noah's character. He found grace or favor in the eyes of the Lord because he was upright, and he – like Abraham – was quick to obey...not only quickly but completely as well.
The second two reflect God's love and care for us...He shut Noah in the ark for protection and provision in the midst of chaos, suffering and destruction. I can think of so many times that He has figuratively "shut me in" in the midst of these things as well, my miscarriages in particular.
The Bible as Truth
I've recently discovered that there are many Christians who fully believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God and believe it is absolute Truth yet don't believe that all of the Old Testament stories are historical accounts. One of these people reiterates over and over that just because he doesn't believe they actually happened – starting with the story of Creation and including Noah's ark, Jonah and the whale, etc – does not mean that he considers them to be any less Truth. He is a professor that teaches "The Bible at Literature" and explains that the different writing styles used indicate that some stories are historical fact and some are stories used to illustrate Truth.
In the past, I've always believed them to be historical fact because the Bible seems to indicate that they are (on the surface at least, since I don't know much about the styles of writing at this point). At this point, I'm not entirely sure what I believe other than the fact that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. I'm not sure it even matters much, but I do think it's important to know about these issues and what others believe (to me, it is not a salvation issue and therefore should not cause division between believers).
This professor also pointed out that many of the students in his classes come from conservative Christian backgrounds, and those who are homeschooled or attended Christian school are so sheltered from other popular (and unpopular) beliefs that they almost go into shock when they start hearing what other people believe. This is actually one reason we want to homeschool...not to shelter our kids from these things but to explore them with them...talk about different beliefs, why people believe what they do, the evidence for different belief systems and why we believe what we do...allowing them to discover the Truth without being afraid of what other people believe.
Anyway, this post is mostly just rambling because I've been thinking through a lot of this as I read Genesis. One day I hope to get a bunch of books on both sides of the issue and be able to read them and decide for myself.
In the past, I've always believed them to be historical fact because the Bible seems to indicate that they are (on the surface at least, since I don't know much about the styles of writing at this point). At this point, I'm not entirely sure what I believe other than the fact that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. I'm not sure it even matters much, but I do think it's important to know about these issues and what others believe (to me, it is not a salvation issue and therefore should not cause division between believers).
This professor also pointed out that many of the students in his classes come from conservative Christian backgrounds, and those who are homeschooled or attended Christian school are so sheltered from other popular (and unpopular) beliefs that they almost go into shock when they start hearing what other people believe. This is actually one reason we want to homeschool...not to shelter our kids from these things but to explore them with them...talk about different beliefs, why people believe what they do, the evidence for different belief systems and why we believe what we do...allowing them to discover the Truth without being afraid of what other people believe.
Anyway, this post is mostly just rambling because I've been thinking through a lot of this as I read Genesis. One day I hope to get a bunch of books on both sides of the issue and be able to read them and decide for myself.
Abraham and Isaac
This is easily one of the most well-known Bible stories...God's command for Abraham to offer his son Isaac as a burnt offering.
The parts of the story that have always stood out to me were Abraham's immediate obedience. Twice God calls his name (which is pretty cool in and of itself), and twice (v. 1 and 11) he answers, "Here is am." After God gives the command, the Bible says Abraham "rose early in the morning...arose and went to the place of which God had told him."
The other part of the story that I love is Isaac's role. He went along, trusting his father, even though he had to have been wondering what was going on. In fact, at one point he asks his dad where the sacrifice is, and Abraham expresses his faith in God's provision (v. 8), "My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering."
Okay, so I've always known this was a story of trust and faith (the chapter title in my Bible is "Abraham's Faith Confirmed"), but it hit me today that it's not just that Abraham trusted God in general or that he had faith in him, but that he trusted in God's goodness. He trusted in God's promise. And he trusted in God's faithfulness.
So the obvious question is whether I trust God enough to obey His commands without question or hesitation. I also wonder if I'm listening carefully enough to hear Him calling my name. I don't think that God would call anyone to sacrifice their child, even as a test of faith, in this cultural context (for one thing, we don't do sacrifices of any kind, whereas in the OT they did). I was trying to think of an example of something He might ask me to do in order to demonstrate my faith, and I could only come up with one, but I'm sure there will be other situations that come up that do require just this.
My sister is going to Africa this summer with Global Expeditions. Besides fighting intense jealousy because I have always wanted to go to Africa, I am so proud of her and her desire to serve God and the African people. But I think this is a good example of my parents trusting God's goodness, promise and faithfulness as well as His provision in their decision to allow her to go. It's hard for me to imagine letting our girls travel across the world without us, but that just may be something that God asks us to do at some point.
In the meantime, I am sure there are dozens of ways everyday that He's asking me to demonstrate my trust in His goodness and to obey His word without hesitation. I want to respond like Abraham did, "Here I am."
The parts of the story that have always stood out to me were Abraham's immediate obedience. Twice God calls his name (which is pretty cool in and of itself), and twice (v. 1 and 11) he answers, "Here is am." After God gives the command, the Bible says Abraham "rose early in the morning...arose and went to the place of which God had told him."
The other part of the story that I love is Isaac's role. He went along, trusting his father, even though he had to have been wondering what was going on. In fact, at one point he asks his dad where the sacrifice is, and Abraham expresses his faith in God's provision (v. 8), "My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering."
Okay, so I've always known this was a story of trust and faith (the chapter title in my Bible is "Abraham's Faith Confirmed"), but it hit me today that it's not just that Abraham trusted God in general or that he had faith in him, but that he trusted in God's goodness. He trusted in God's promise. And he trusted in God's faithfulness.
So the obvious question is whether I trust God enough to obey His commands without question or hesitation. I also wonder if I'm listening carefully enough to hear Him calling my name. I don't think that God would call anyone to sacrifice their child, even as a test of faith, in this cultural context (for one thing, we don't do sacrifices of any kind, whereas in the OT they did). I was trying to think of an example of something He might ask me to do in order to demonstrate my faith, and I could only come up with one, but I'm sure there will be other situations that come up that do require just this.
My sister is going to Africa this summer with Global Expeditions. Besides fighting intense jealousy because I have always wanted to go to Africa, I am so proud of her and her desire to serve God and the African people. But I think this is a good example of my parents trusting God's goodness, promise and faithfulness as well as His provision in their decision to allow her to go. It's hard for me to imagine letting our girls travel across the world without us, but that just may be something that God asks us to do at some point.
In the meantime, I am sure there are dozens of ways everyday that He's asking me to demonstrate my trust in His goodness and to obey His word without hesitation. I want to respond like Abraham did, "Here I am."
Wow!
This morning I was reading Genesis 21-23, and in 21:33, Abraham refers to the Lord as "the Everlasting God," which got me thinking again about the names of God. So I did a search, and found this list of the names of God. I wish it referenced the Scriptures so that I could look it up in my Bible (I still can look it up online doing a word search, but it would be nice to just be able to flip in my Bible to each reference). But regardless, it is amazing to even just skim this list. I am definitely going to spend some time looking through it!
I cannot at all vouch for the website that it came from, but I did go back to their home page to see what else they have, and I also found this list of how God sees us. Also very cool.
I cannot at all vouch for the website that it came from, but I did go back to their home page to see what else they have, and I also found this list of how God sees us. Also very cool.
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