Beatitudes

I have always loved the Beatitudes, and yesterday I transcribed a sermon focusing on the first two...

Matthew 5:3-4 ->
"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

"Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted."

The pastor, who did indeed sound as though he had reached a place of being poor in spirit and mournful compared with other sermons of his I have transcribed, talked about begging God to make him poor in spirit, or humble, and to cause him to mourn the sins in his life.

This morning, this is my prayer to God, that He would humble me before Him, that I would realize with a growing awareness how little I am in the sight of the Almighty God and yet be filled with awe that He would love me with perfect love and send His Son to die on the cross for me. It's not that I don't realize these things intellectually, but I wonder if I would struggle to get up for my quiet time if I truly, truly believed them in my heart. I wonder if I would let a single opportunity go by without sharing the love of Christ with someone if I had reached that place...

I also pray that the Holy Spirit would convict my heart of any and all sin in my life. It's so easy to look at myself and think, "Hey, I'm doing pretty good," when the reality is I am a wretched sinner in need of forgiveness every moment of every day. I am afraid that if He were to show me all of my sin at once, it would be an unbearable load, and yet I do want to be on my face, mourning before God, that I might realize my need for Him and repent.