The last month...

Wow, my last post here was over a month ago and was about how I was struggling. Not a very good way to leave it, and not a very good reflection of how things have been going either.

God has taught me some amazing things this last month. He showed me that when I recognize that I am struggling and call out to Him, He will be my strength. He's also shown me that if I just follow through on the commitment to spend time with Him each day (even when I don't feel like it!), my heart will follow! Another VERY important lesson that I probably don't have enough time or space to fully explain here is that He has showed me time and time again that when I follow the Holy Spirit's promptings in the little, seemingly innocuous, things in my life, it sets me up for victory in the big things as well.

We've been studying obedience in our small group, but we haven't actually had a chance to discuss the lesson as a group yet because of snow and other interruptions. I know in my heart that even if nobody else needed this extended focus on obedience, God knew that I did. As I've been reading the Old Testament, I am struck time and time again by the words, "And ________ did as the Lord commanded him." Over and over and over again.

Anyway, I am on track with my Bible reading, and while I have had many failures over the past month, I've also had many victories. And I think that's what the Christian life is about. We are doomed to failure because as hard as we try, our nature is sinful. But when I look at my sin, repent immediately and move on, that is where the victory comes from. There have been moments in the last month where I've wanted to punish myself for my failure, holding myself back from God as if that was somehow a sign of true repentance. However, I believe that is a lie of the Devil. God has called me back to Him time and time again and He forgives me with no hesitation. That's been an amazing lesson!