Okay, this is just a rambling, journal-type post, and I realize that a lot of it is written in Christianese, but it just seems to be the easiest way to explain it...
I know that mountain peaks and valleys are part of growing in our relationship with the Lord, and I know that true growth happens in the valleys, so to speak, but I think I'm coming down off the mountain right now, and I don't like it!
I'm so thankful that God gives me the experience of times with Him when it feels like I'm on the mountain-top. These are times when I love to read His Word, have no trouble motivating myself to do my devotionals, feel like I'm learning something new everyday, etc. Unfortuantely, my if-you-can't-be-perfect-then-you-might-as-well-quit personality does not do well in the valley, and I want that to change.
I think my last mountain-top experience was at the beginning of 2006 as well, and honestly, when it ended, I got pretty stagnant. It's not that I fell away from the Lord or anything, but I definitely stopped growing.
I don't want that to happen again. I want to continue investing time and energy into my relationship with God. I want to read through the Bible this year, completely, not giving up halfway through or less. I want to continue to make prayer a part of every hour of every day.
Honestly, it's not only for myself and for my God (because He deserves so much more than I could give!), but also for my girls. The heritage I want to pass down to them is one of relying totally on God, seeking Him daily and growing in my walk with Him. What greater gift could I give them?
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Psalms
You know, I have heard people in the past talk about how much they love to just read the Psalms, and how it's like a balm for their spirit. Honestly, I never got it! I would read two or three Psalms a day, longing for that feeling but just not feeling it.
Well, the current Bible reading plan I'm using has me read one Psalm a day. Reading them one at a time, I finally get it! I think it's because I'm not rushing through them anymore, so I'm able to pick out verses that literally make me want to sing to my God.
There are a lot of verses about David praying for deliverance from his enemies, and I don't relate to those very much, but mixed in with every single Psalm are truths about God's character, our position in Him, His love for us, and so on.
So what I've been doing is writing those verses down in a notebook. I didn't think of this at first, but as I'm reading Praying God's Word, I can see how these pages will become a prayer journal of sorts where I can just humble myself and pray through some of the verses.
That is a key thing that stands out to me in these verses: David knew his position. He was the king, and yet he bowed before the King of Kings, acknowledging that he was nothing apart from God.
Today's verses that really stood out to me are from Psalm 17:
Psalm 17:4,
"Concerning the works of men,
By the word of Your lips,
I have kept away from the paths of the destroyer."
Okay, if you would have had me read Psalm 17 last week, I never would have picked out this verse, but after being bombarded with message after message about God's grace and praying God's Word, this verse speaks directly to my heart. David's not saying, "By my own glory and righteousness and holiness, I have kept away from sin." He's saying, "By the word of Your lips, God, I have been able to resist sin." By the word of Your lips. Wow!
Psalm 17:8
"Keep me as the apple of Your eye;
Hide me under the shadow of Your wings."
Mostly, I just love the intimacy with God that this verse illustrates. God loves us as the apple of His eye. I believe that the original text refers to the apple of God's eye in the sense of the pupil...a part of our body that we carefully protect and guard. He also hides us under His wings as a mother hen hides her chicks. My Bible commentary refers to it as being not only a place of protection, but also one of warmth and love.
Well, the current Bible reading plan I'm using has me read one Psalm a day. Reading them one at a time, I finally get it! I think it's because I'm not rushing through them anymore, so I'm able to pick out verses that literally make me want to sing to my God.
There are a lot of verses about David praying for deliverance from his enemies, and I don't relate to those very much, but mixed in with every single Psalm are truths about God's character, our position in Him, His love for us, and so on.
So what I've been doing is writing those verses down in a notebook. I didn't think of this at first, but as I'm reading Praying God's Word, I can see how these pages will become a prayer journal of sorts where I can just humble myself and pray through some of the verses.
That is a key thing that stands out to me in these verses: David knew his position. He was the king, and yet he bowed before the King of Kings, acknowledging that he was nothing apart from God.
Today's verses that really stood out to me are from Psalm 17:
Psalm 17:4,
"Concerning the works of men,
By the word of Your lips,
I have kept away from the paths of the destroyer."
Okay, if you would have had me read Psalm 17 last week, I never would have picked out this verse, but after being bombarded with message after message about God's grace and praying God's Word, this verse speaks directly to my heart. David's not saying, "By my own glory and righteousness and holiness, I have kept away from sin." He's saying, "By the word of Your lips, God, I have been able to resist sin." By the word of Your lips. Wow!
Psalm 17:8
"Keep me as the apple of Your eye;
Hide me under the shadow of Your wings."
Mostly, I just love the intimacy with God that this verse illustrates. God loves us as the apple of His eye. I believe that the original text refers to the apple of God's eye in the sense of the pupil...a part of our body that we carefully protect and guard. He also hides us under His wings as a mother hen hides her chicks. My Bible commentary refers to it as being not only a place of protection, but also one of warmth and love.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Inexplicable, Undescribable, Undeserved Grace
In the past few week, God has been revealing so much to me about His grace. It seems like everywhere I go, especially in the past week, the focus is on grace. It started with our small group, and then that afternoon I picked up Praying God's Word, which is about using God's Word and relying on God's grace to break strongholds in our lives. And then church yesterday was about "relationship versus religion", and our pastor strongly emphasized that the Christian life is not about rule-following.
The most awesome illustration of God's grace for me, and one I don't think I will ever forget, was from the video that came from the Seeking God Bible study our small group is doing. The speaker talked about our choice between going to Mount Sinai (where the Law/the Ten Commandments were handed down) or to Mount Calvary (where Jesus died on the cross). Although it's obviously figurative, I just can't get that picture out of my head.
When I struggle with a persistent sin – impatience and pride come to mind – I can choose to go to Mount Sinai in my own strength and try, try, try to follow the Law. But I will fail. On the other hand, I can choose to fall on my knees before Mount Calvary, and that's where grace and victory is found!
I'm sure I'm not explaining it as well as this speaker did, but it's been a truly life-changing principle for me!
Then I come home and start reading Beth Moore's Praying God's Word, and although she doesn't use the same illustration, it is all about relying on God to change us rather than on our own strength.
This has always been a struggle for me because it feels like such a cop-out to say, "God, I can't change myself. You change me." I mean, I don't think He expects us to just sit back and wait for the lightning bolt from Heaven to change us. BUT in reading Praying God's Word, I think I have a new understanding of it. It's not that we should just sit around on our butts waiting for Him to change us. While there are many areas where we can't change ourselves (strongholds, if you will), what we CAN actively do is pray through God's Word, crying out for Him to meet us where we're at (at the foot of Mount Calvary).
The most awesome illustration of God's grace for me, and one I don't think I will ever forget, was from the video that came from the Seeking God Bible study our small group is doing. The speaker talked about our choice between going to Mount Sinai (where the Law/the Ten Commandments were handed down) or to Mount Calvary (where Jesus died on the cross). Although it's obviously figurative, I just can't get that picture out of my head.
When I struggle with a persistent sin – impatience and pride come to mind – I can choose to go to Mount Sinai in my own strength and try, try, try to follow the Law. But I will fail. On the other hand, I can choose to fall on my knees before Mount Calvary, and that's where grace and victory is found!
I'm sure I'm not explaining it as well as this speaker did, but it's been a truly life-changing principle for me!
Then I come home and start reading Beth Moore's Praying God's Word, and although she doesn't use the same illustration, it is all about relying on God to change us rather than on our own strength.
This has always been a struggle for me because it feels like such a cop-out to say, "God, I can't change myself. You change me." I mean, I don't think He expects us to just sit back and wait for the lightning bolt from Heaven to change us. BUT in reading Praying God's Word, I think I have a new understanding of it. It's not that we should just sit around on our butts waiting for Him to change us. While there are many areas where we can't change ourselves (strongholds, if you will), what we CAN actively do is pray through God's Word, crying out for Him to meet us where we're at (at the foot of Mount Calvary).
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I've been thinking a lot lately...
...about WHY I believe in God. I can't see Him. I can't audibly hear Him. I can't touch Him. And yet I know He is real.
Why, though? Why do I believe in God?
The best – and only – answer I can give to that is I see His hand on my life. I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit in my spirit. I can feel Him holding me and guiding me when I need comfort or direction.
Thinking about this has made me see even more "God moments" in the past few weeks. I believe we all have these kinds of moments, and we can choose to see them as coincidence or just random acts of the universe, or we can see God's hand in them. I see them as God's hand on my life because I believe that He truly cares for me in the big and little things.
Some of them are serious, like the additional blessings we received after making the tough decision to tithe a large amount of gift money we received.
Some are goofy, like my belief that God intentionally had us receive 27 Christmas cards because He knew that it would drive me nuts (and make me laugh at His humor) to not have a nice number like 26 that would allow us to pray for each family twice during the year!
Some are spiritual, like the way that God lead me to pick up Praying God's Word the day after an intense small group where we talked about relying on God's grace for change in our lives rather than our own strength.
But each one – big or little – reminds me and strengthens my belief that not only is there a God but also that He cares for me and loves me intimately.
Why, though? Why do I believe in God?
The best – and only – answer I can give to that is I see His hand on my life. I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit in my spirit. I can feel Him holding me and guiding me when I need comfort or direction.
Thinking about this has made me see even more "God moments" in the past few weeks. I believe we all have these kinds of moments, and we can choose to see them as coincidence or just random acts of the universe, or we can see God's hand in them. I see them as God's hand on my life because I believe that He truly cares for me in the big and little things.
Some of them are serious, like the additional blessings we received after making the tough decision to tithe a large amount of gift money we received.
Some are goofy, like my belief that God intentionally had us receive 27 Christmas cards because He knew that it would drive me nuts (and make me laugh at His humor) to not have a nice number like 26 that would allow us to pray for each family twice during the year!
Some are spiritual, like the way that God lead me to pick up Praying God's Word the day after an intense small group where we talked about relying on God's grace for change in our lives rather than our own strength.
But each one – big or little – reminds me and strengthens my belief that not only is there a God but also that He cares for me and loves me intimately.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
While I'm at it...
One of my all time favorite Bible stories is Noah and the Ark. There are a few verses in this story that to me tell the whole story (and none of them has to do with the actual flood or the ark), and every time I read them, they make me pause and think...
Genesis 6:8
But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.
Genesis 6:22
This Noah did; according to all that God commanded him, so he did.
Genesis 7:16
...went in as God commanded him; and the Lord shut him in. (Wow, I love that verse...the Lord shut him in...that is my favorite phrase in the entire Bible)
Genesis 8:1
Then God remembered Noah.
The first two verses reflect Noah's character. He found grace or favor in the eyes of the Lord because he was upright, and he – like Abraham – was quick to obey...not only quickly but completely as well.
The second two reflect God's love and care for us...He shut Noah in the ark for protection and provision in the midst of chaos, suffering and destruction. I can think of so many times that He has figuratively "shut me in" in the midst of these things as well, my miscarriages in particular.
Genesis 6:8
But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.
Genesis 6:22
This Noah did; according to all that God commanded him, so he did.
Genesis 7:16
...went in as God commanded him; and the Lord shut him in. (Wow, I love that verse...the Lord shut him in...that is my favorite phrase in the entire Bible)
Genesis 8:1
Then God remembered Noah.
The first two verses reflect Noah's character. He found grace or favor in the eyes of the Lord because he was upright, and he – like Abraham – was quick to obey...not only quickly but completely as well.
The second two reflect God's love and care for us...He shut Noah in the ark for protection and provision in the midst of chaos, suffering and destruction. I can think of so many times that He has figuratively "shut me in" in the midst of these things as well, my miscarriages in particular.
The Bible as Truth
I've recently discovered that there are many Christians who fully believe the Bible is the infallible Word of God and believe it is absolute Truth yet don't believe that all of the Old Testament stories are historical accounts. One of these people reiterates over and over that just because he doesn't believe they actually happened – starting with the story of Creation and including Noah's ark, Jonah and the whale, etc – does not mean that he considers them to be any less Truth. He is a professor that teaches "The Bible at Literature" and explains that the different writing styles used indicate that some stories are historical fact and some are stories used to illustrate Truth.
In the past, I've always believed them to be historical fact because the Bible seems to indicate that they are (on the surface at least, since I don't know much about the styles of writing at this point). At this point, I'm not entirely sure what I believe other than the fact that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. I'm not sure it even matters much, but I do think it's important to know about these issues and what others believe (to me, it is not a salvation issue and therefore should not cause division between believers).
This professor also pointed out that many of the students in his classes come from conservative Christian backgrounds, and those who are homeschooled or attended Christian school are so sheltered from other popular (and unpopular) beliefs that they almost go into shock when they start hearing what other people believe. This is actually one reason we want to homeschool...not to shelter our kids from these things but to explore them with them...talk about different beliefs, why people believe what they do, the evidence for different belief systems and why we believe what we do...allowing them to discover the Truth without being afraid of what other people believe.
Anyway, this post is mostly just rambling because I've been thinking through a lot of this as I read Genesis. One day I hope to get a bunch of books on both sides of the issue and be able to read them and decide for myself.
In the past, I've always believed them to be historical fact because the Bible seems to indicate that they are (on the surface at least, since I don't know much about the styles of writing at this point). At this point, I'm not entirely sure what I believe other than the fact that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. I'm not sure it even matters much, but I do think it's important to know about these issues and what others believe (to me, it is not a salvation issue and therefore should not cause division between believers).
This professor also pointed out that many of the students in his classes come from conservative Christian backgrounds, and those who are homeschooled or attended Christian school are so sheltered from other popular (and unpopular) beliefs that they almost go into shock when they start hearing what other people believe. This is actually one reason we want to homeschool...not to shelter our kids from these things but to explore them with them...talk about different beliefs, why people believe what they do, the evidence for different belief systems and why we believe what we do...allowing them to discover the Truth without being afraid of what other people believe.
Anyway, this post is mostly just rambling because I've been thinking through a lot of this as I read Genesis. One day I hope to get a bunch of books on both sides of the issue and be able to read them and decide for myself.
Abraham and Isaac
This is easily one of the most well-known Bible stories...God's command for Abraham to offer his son Isaac as a burnt offering.
The parts of the story that have always stood out to me were Abraham's immediate obedience. Twice God calls his name (which is pretty cool in and of itself), and twice (v. 1 and 11) he answers, "Here is am." After God gives the command, the Bible says Abraham "rose early in the morning...arose and went to the place of which God had told him."
The other part of the story that I love is Isaac's role. He went along, trusting his father, even though he had to have been wondering what was going on. In fact, at one point he asks his dad where the sacrifice is, and Abraham expresses his faith in God's provision (v. 8), "My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering."
Okay, so I've always known this was a story of trust and faith (the chapter title in my Bible is "Abraham's Faith Confirmed"), but it hit me today that it's not just that Abraham trusted God in general or that he had faith in him, but that he trusted in God's goodness. He trusted in God's promise. And he trusted in God's faithfulness.
So the obvious question is whether I trust God enough to obey His commands without question or hesitation. I also wonder if I'm listening carefully enough to hear Him calling my name. I don't think that God would call anyone to sacrifice their child, even as a test of faith, in this cultural context (for one thing, we don't do sacrifices of any kind, whereas in the OT they did). I was trying to think of an example of something He might ask me to do in order to demonstrate my faith, and I could only come up with one, but I'm sure there will be other situations that come up that do require just this.
My sister is going to Africa this summer with Global Expeditions. Besides fighting intense jealousy because I have always wanted to go to Africa, I am so proud of her and her desire to serve God and the African people. But I think this is a good example of my parents trusting God's goodness, promise and faithfulness as well as His provision in their decision to allow her to go. It's hard for me to imagine letting our girls travel across the world without us, but that just may be something that God asks us to do at some point.
In the meantime, I am sure there are dozens of ways everyday that He's asking me to demonstrate my trust in His goodness and to obey His word without hesitation. I want to respond like Abraham did, "Here I am."
The parts of the story that have always stood out to me were Abraham's immediate obedience. Twice God calls his name (which is pretty cool in and of itself), and twice (v. 1 and 11) he answers, "Here is am." After God gives the command, the Bible says Abraham "rose early in the morning...arose and went to the place of which God had told him."
The other part of the story that I love is Isaac's role. He went along, trusting his father, even though he had to have been wondering what was going on. In fact, at one point he asks his dad where the sacrifice is, and Abraham expresses his faith in God's provision (v. 8), "My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering."
Okay, so I've always known this was a story of trust and faith (the chapter title in my Bible is "Abraham's Faith Confirmed"), but it hit me today that it's not just that Abraham trusted God in general or that he had faith in him, but that he trusted in God's goodness. He trusted in God's promise. And he trusted in God's faithfulness.
So the obvious question is whether I trust God enough to obey His commands without question or hesitation. I also wonder if I'm listening carefully enough to hear Him calling my name. I don't think that God would call anyone to sacrifice their child, even as a test of faith, in this cultural context (for one thing, we don't do sacrifices of any kind, whereas in the OT they did). I was trying to think of an example of something He might ask me to do in order to demonstrate my faith, and I could only come up with one, but I'm sure there will be other situations that come up that do require just this.
My sister is going to Africa this summer with Global Expeditions. Besides fighting intense jealousy because I have always wanted to go to Africa, I am so proud of her and her desire to serve God and the African people. But I think this is a good example of my parents trusting God's goodness, promise and faithfulness as well as His provision in their decision to allow her to go. It's hard for me to imagine letting our girls travel across the world without us, but that just may be something that God asks us to do at some point.
In the meantime, I am sure there are dozens of ways everyday that He's asking me to demonstrate my trust in His goodness and to obey His word without hesitation. I want to respond like Abraham did, "Here I am."
Wow!
This morning I was reading Genesis 21-23, and in 21:33, Abraham refers to the Lord as "the Everlasting God," which got me thinking again about the names of God. So I did a search, and found this list of the names of God. I wish it referenced the Scriptures so that I could look it up in my Bible (I still can look it up online doing a word search, but it would be nice to just be able to flip in my Bible to each reference). But regardless, it is amazing to even just skim this list. I am definitely going to spend some time looking through it!
I cannot at all vouch for the website that it came from, but I did go back to their home page to see what else they have, and I also found this list of how God sees us. Also very cool.
I cannot at all vouch for the website that it came from, but I did go back to their home page to see what else they have, and I also found this list of how God sees us. Also very cool.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
One Another
I posted a while back about all of the "one another" verses in the Bible and putting them to practice in our relationships. Well, someone just posted the following in the online community I'm part of, and I can't stop thinking about it...
Answers in the Bible--here's something that may seem very obvious to you or others, or may not have occured, as it didn't to me for a long time.
When the Bible says how to treat others--our family are "others!" I used to look just for parenting advice, but when I started looking for how to treat others & applying it to family, wow!
Some big ones:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Love is patient--am I patient with my children? I spent a month praying just that. Love is kind. Is my tone, words, actions, kind? I spent a year praying through attributes one per month like this & God really worked in my heart.
Galatians 6:1-2--if someone is caught in a sin, restore him gently. Wow, there's a zinger for parents!
Matthew 7:3-5--take the plank out of your own eye so you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's (child's) eye.
All the "one another" verses. Love one another, be kind to one another, forgiving one another--how easy it is to discipline when angry, when inconvenienced, when embarrassed in front of others--instead of disciplining in love, with what's best for our child in mind, from a heart that has forgiven your child.
I think the same thing could easily be applied to marriage. It's like that saying about how many times we treat strangers on the street better than we treat our loved ones. Maybe I'm the only one who does that, but either way, I really think this is life changing. I have no idea how I could blindly read these verses and only apply them to "others" and not to my marriage or my children (well, except for 1 Corinthians 13 – at least I thought of that one in terms of my marriage, even if I haven't always applied it very well!)
Anyway, my goal is to read through ALL of these verses, applying them and praying through them! You gotta feel bad for the first children (no wonder we turn out so neurotic!), when parents are still learning even just the basics of how to parent! :P
Answers in the Bible--here's something that may seem very obvious to you or others, or may not have occured, as it didn't to me for a long time.
When the Bible says how to treat others--our family are "others!" I used to look just for parenting advice, but when I started looking for how to treat others & applying it to family, wow!
Some big ones:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Love is patient--am I patient with my children? I spent a month praying just that. Love is kind. Is my tone, words, actions, kind? I spent a year praying through attributes one per month like this & God really worked in my heart.
Galatians 6:1-2--if someone is caught in a sin, restore him gently. Wow, there's a zinger for parents!
Matthew 7:3-5--take the plank out of your own eye so you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's (child's) eye.
All the "one another" verses. Love one another, be kind to one another, forgiving one another--how easy it is to discipline when angry, when inconvenienced, when embarrassed in front of others--instead of disciplining in love, with what's best for our child in mind, from a heart that has forgiven your child.
I think the same thing could easily be applied to marriage. It's like that saying about how many times we treat strangers on the street better than we treat our loved ones. Maybe I'm the only one who does that, but either way, I really think this is life changing. I have no idea how I could blindly read these verses and only apply them to "others" and not to my marriage or my children (well, except for 1 Corinthians 13 – at least I thought of that one in terms of my marriage, even if I haven't always applied it very well!)
Anyway, my goal is to read through ALL of these verses, applying them and praying through them! You gotta feel bad for the first children (no wonder we turn out so neurotic!), when parents are still learning even just the basics of how to parent! :P
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Holiness
Wow...well, I am almost finished my study on holiness, and I happened to glance ahead to day five of the study, because that is the day that you "make it personal", and the questions always, always make me stop and think. So, the activity for day five this week is this list of 65 character qualities that we're called to "put off" as Christians as well as 65 corresponding qualities we're called to put on. Each of the 130 total has a verse to read along with it, so I think this will probably take me days and days to go through.
BUT, as I was reading this list, I feel pretty convicted already. For example, number 42...ouch....procrastination versus diligence! Number 46 and 47...lack of moderation and gluttony versus temperance and discipline. And it continues...lack of rejoicing always, worry, fear, neglect of Bible study, inhospitable, temporal values, stinginess, worldy entertainment, wrong motives, complacency, discontentment, complaining, impatience, selfishness, pride. Eek! Sure there are some I can check off – like adultery – but not many! :S
I am definitely not "excited" about doing that part of the study, but I am truly looking forward to going through them one by one and allowing God to cull things from my life and replace them with godly character qualities. It will be a slow process, I'm sure, but I hope I will still know you all in 50, 60 or 70 years, and that the fruit of my labor may be evident by then! :P
BUT, as I was reading this list, I feel pretty convicted already. For example, number 42...ouch....procrastination versus diligence! Number 46 and 47...lack of moderation and gluttony versus temperance and discipline. And it continues...lack of rejoicing always, worry, fear, neglect of Bible study, inhospitable, temporal values, stinginess, worldy entertainment, wrong motives, complacency, discontentment, complaining, impatience, selfishness, pride. Eek! Sure there are some I can check off – like adultery – but not many! :S
I am definitely not "excited" about doing that part of the study, but I am truly looking forward to going through them one by one and allowing God to cull things from my life and replace them with godly character qualities. It will be a slow process, I'm sure, but I hope I will still know you all in 50, 60 or 70 years, and that the fruit of my labor may be evident by then! :P
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Immanuel
Isaiah 7:14 -> "Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel."
Okay, I started my word search on this, knowing the definition I'd always been taught was "God with us." The word search confirms this, but it's set up a little strange - here and here for anyone interested in seeing it – and I'm not sure why the two Hebrew words, 'el and Immanuw'el, are listed seperately the way they are. So I'm waiting to hear back from someone on why they're listed that way, and then I'll finish that part of it.
In the meantime, the standard definition is pretty good all by itself, don't you think? It's so easy to get caught up in the habit of being a Christian and not really focus on the Truth or reality of it, which is awe-inspiring to say the least.
God with us.
God, in His infinite power, glory and majesty, with us.
God with us, even in our wretchedness and our sinfulness.
God with us.
I remember laying in bed once when I was in highschool, and all of the sudden I started meditating on God's desire to have a relationship with me. GOD desired ME! It got to the point where I was just marveling at the idea of GOD. Nothing else, just GOD.
If we truly understood that concept – GOD with us – would we continue to live our lives the way we do now?
Let me just personalize that for myself...If I truly understood the concept of GOD, in all of His infinite power, glory and majesty, with ME, in all of my wretchedness and sinfulness, would I continue to live the same life I'm living now?
Absolutely not.
I would not let one day go by without spending focused time with Him. I would not let one moment go by without telling my daughters about His desire for them. I would not let one single person walk by without tell them about Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. That's the truth...if I truly got it, my life would be drastically different. The fact that I don't do those things is a sad testimony to the fact that I don't get it.
Lord Jesus, I pray that this Christmas season and into 2007 that you would reveal Yourself to me in all of Your power and glory and majesty...or as much as my human mind can comprehend. Lord, please forgive me for not recognizing the awesomeness of Your name and Your presence on a daily basis. Please forgive me for not sharing the hope that is found in You with strangers that I meet on the street. Please, please forgive me for making other things a higher priority than spending time with You. Lord, I pray that today would mark a day of change in my life, that from this day forward, my life would reflect Your glory, that I would bring glory and honor to Your name and that people would be drawn to You because of me.
Lord, I pray as always that You would draw my girls to You. I pray that they would love and serve You each day of their lives with a childlike faith and a fervor and a zeal that makes other people want to know You as well. I pray that they would live lives of purity – not just physically, but in their thoughts and words and hearts. I pray that You would give them a love for Your Word, that they would love to praise and worship You and that You would give them a boldness and confidence in You to share the Gospel.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Okay, I started my word search on this, knowing the definition I'd always been taught was "God with us." The word search confirms this, but it's set up a little strange - here and here for anyone interested in seeing it – and I'm not sure why the two Hebrew words, 'el and Immanuw'el, are listed seperately the way they are. So I'm waiting to hear back from someone on why they're listed that way, and then I'll finish that part of it.
In the meantime, the standard definition is pretty good all by itself, don't you think? It's so easy to get caught up in the habit of being a Christian and not really focus on the Truth or reality of it, which is awe-inspiring to say the least.
God with us.
God, in His infinite power, glory and majesty, with us.
God with us, even in our wretchedness and our sinfulness.
God with us.
I remember laying in bed once when I was in highschool, and all of the sudden I started meditating on God's desire to have a relationship with me. GOD desired ME! It got to the point where I was just marveling at the idea of GOD. Nothing else, just GOD.
If we truly understood that concept – GOD with us – would we continue to live our lives the way we do now?
Let me just personalize that for myself...If I truly understood the concept of GOD, in all of His infinite power, glory and majesty, with ME, in all of my wretchedness and sinfulness, would I continue to live the same life I'm living now?
Absolutely not.
I would not let one day go by without spending focused time with Him. I would not let one moment go by without telling my daughters about His desire for them. I would not let one single person walk by without tell them about Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. That's the truth...if I truly got it, my life would be drastically different. The fact that I don't do those things is a sad testimony to the fact that I don't get it.
Lord Jesus, I pray that this Christmas season and into 2007 that you would reveal Yourself to me in all of Your power and glory and majesty...or as much as my human mind can comprehend. Lord, please forgive me for not recognizing the awesomeness of Your name and Your presence on a daily basis. Please forgive me for not sharing the hope that is found in You with strangers that I meet on the street. Please, please forgive me for making other things a higher priority than spending time with You. Lord, I pray that today would mark a day of change in my life, that from this day forward, my life would reflect Your glory, that I would bring glory and honor to Your name and that people would be drawn to You because of me.
Lord, I pray as always that You would draw my girls to You. I pray that they would love and serve You each day of their lives with a childlike faith and a fervor and a zeal that makes other people want to know You as well. I pray that they would live lives of purity – not just physically, but in their thoughts and words and hearts. I pray that You would give them a love for Your Word, that they would love to praise and worship You and that You would give them a boldness and confidence in You to share the Gospel.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Friday, December 15, 2006
God's grace
I read Psalm 86:1-7 in a new way this morning based on the question in my study book:
David was a man who was desperately aware if his need for God's grace and wasn't afraid to ask for it. Underline each phrase in this passage that refers to David asking God for help. Circle (I'm gonna bold them here) each phrase that indicates how God responds when His children call upon Him. (I'm also going to italicize David's description of his cry to God because I think so often we want something from God, but we forget to ask Him for us, like the parable of the woman who continually petitions the judge until he gives her what she's asking for – anyone know where that is???)
Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me.
for I am poor and needy.
Preserve my life, for I am godly;
Save your servant, who trusts in You – you are my God.
Be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to You do I cry all the day.
Gladden the soul of your servant,
for to You, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
For You, O Lord, are good and forgiving,
abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon You.
Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer;
listen to my plea for grace.
In the day of my trouble, I call upon you,
For You answer me.
David was a man who was desperately aware if his need for God's grace and wasn't afraid to ask for it. Underline each phrase in this passage that refers to David asking God for help. Circle (I'm gonna bold them here) each phrase that indicates how God responds when His children call upon Him. (I'm also going to italicize David's description of his cry to God because I think so often we want something from God, but we forget to ask Him for us, like the parable of the woman who continually petitions the judge until he gives her what she's asking for – anyone know where that is???)
Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me.
for I am poor and needy.
Preserve my life, for I am godly;
Save your servant, who trusts in You – you are my God.
Be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to You do I cry all the day.
Gladden the soul of your servant,
for to You, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
For You, O Lord, are good and forgiving,
abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon You.
Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer;
listen to my plea for grace.
In the day of my trouble, I call upon you,
For You answer me.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
A child
Ok, today I'm going to do a study about Jesus as "a child".
Isaiah 9:6, "For unto us a child is born..."
The Hebrew word is yeled, from the word yalad.
There's nothing really earth shattering here in the definition of the phrase:
1) child, son, boy, offspring, youth
a) child, son, boy
b) child, children
c) descendants
d) youth
e) apostate Israelites (fig.)
It's the same word used to describe Isaac and Ishmael and Jacob's children and Moses and so on and so on.
Wow, this one is a lot harder for me than Prince of Peace was. With that one, I was able to write "Mandi's Amplified Version" (which I lost) based on the definitions, and it really opened my eyes to a lot of aspects of that name that I hadn't seen before. For example – not to get off track too much – one of the definitions of peace as used there is reconciling us with God. I had always looked at Jesus as the Prince of Peace in reference to the indescribable Peace He gives us, i.e. the emotion or feeling of peace. But I think that while He delights in bringing us peace in our daily lives, the ultimate peace comes from that reconciliation with God.
Okay, back on track...the thought that keeps coming to me is that God did not use a special word to describe Jesus as a child/baby. He truly came in humbleness as the Son of man (and that's not to say He was not the Son of God because He was...it's just that He did not hold onto that "title", especially during His early days here on earth).
I know this analogy falls short on so many levels, but I am going to assume for the purpose of this analogy that everyone reading along falls somewhere in the working class to upper middle class range financially (everyone that I know reads this does, at least). Okay, so can you imagine choosing to give all of that up to go live on the streets of DC?
Now, I do know people who have given up everything to go be missionaries. I think even that would be a stretch for a lot of us – just being honest here! But, imagine that you are called to give everything up, go live on the streets of DC, and you just have to live as a common poor person for 30 years! We could say that even though Jesus didn't begin to actually minister until He was 30, He actually began His ministry much earlier, at - say - 12 when He stayed behind at the Temple after the feasts. Okay, so based on that, let's say you are called to give up everything, go live on the streets of DC as the poor do – and not as a person who's chosen to live there, but just as an "ordinary" poor person living in "ordinary" poverty – for 12 years without anyone knowing your purpose or giving you any respect at all.
Okay, obviously this analogy falls short because Jesus – GOD! – came from glory to a sinful world, was tempted by all sin common to man, and was crucified on the cross...even though He is GOD! But, even the above scenario is hard for my mind to conceive. I don't think I could do it, regardless of what the greater purpose after 12 or 30 years might be. In fact, to be honest, I'm not sure I could do it for a year...or six months...or less, even.
Wow.
You know, I've loved Christmas both years that I've had a baby because as I hold that baby and worship Christ, singing Christmas songs about Him coming as a baby, it truly hits home.
Our Lord came to this earth as a baby. While many people watched and waited – and still do – for Him to come as a triumphant king, He came as a baby – and a poor one at that – and lived a humble life. He died a humble death as a common criminal. And then...here's the triumphant part, which many have missed as they wait for Him to come in glory...He triumphed over sin and death. He ROSE from the grave and ascended into Heaven. He IS triumphant. He IS victorious. He IS deserving of all worship and honor and glory and majesty and praise.
Isaiah 9:6, "For unto us a child is born..."
The Hebrew word is yeled, from the word yalad.
There's nothing really earth shattering here in the definition of the phrase:
1) child, son, boy, offspring, youth
a) child, son, boy
b) child, children
c) descendants
d) youth
e) apostate Israelites (fig.)
It's the same word used to describe Isaac and Ishmael and Jacob's children and Moses and so on and so on.
Wow, this one is a lot harder for me than Prince of Peace was. With that one, I was able to write "Mandi's Amplified Version" (which I lost) based on the definitions, and it really opened my eyes to a lot of aspects of that name that I hadn't seen before. For example – not to get off track too much – one of the definitions of peace as used there is reconciling us with God. I had always looked at Jesus as the Prince of Peace in reference to the indescribable Peace He gives us, i.e. the emotion or feeling of peace. But I think that while He delights in bringing us peace in our daily lives, the ultimate peace comes from that reconciliation with God.
Okay, back on track...the thought that keeps coming to me is that God did not use a special word to describe Jesus as a child/baby. He truly came in humbleness as the Son of man (and that's not to say He was not the Son of God because He was...it's just that He did not hold onto that "title", especially during His early days here on earth).
I know this analogy falls short on so many levels, but I am going to assume for the purpose of this analogy that everyone reading along falls somewhere in the working class to upper middle class range financially (everyone that I know reads this does, at least). Okay, so can you imagine choosing to give all of that up to go live on the streets of DC?
Now, I do know people who have given up everything to go be missionaries. I think even that would be a stretch for a lot of us – just being honest here! But, imagine that you are called to give everything up, go live on the streets of DC, and you just have to live as a common poor person for 30 years! We could say that even though Jesus didn't begin to actually minister until He was 30, He actually began His ministry much earlier, at - say - 12 when He stayed behind at the Temple after the feasts. Okay, so based on that, let's say you are called to give up everything, go live on the streets of DC as the poor do – and not as a person who's chosen to live there, but just as an "ordinary" poor person living in "ordinary" poverty – for 12 years without anyone knowing your purpose or giving you any respect at all.
Okay, obviously this analogy falls short because Jesus – GOD! – came from glory to a sinful world, was tempted by all sin common to man, and was crucified on the cross...even though He is GOD! But, even the above scenario is hard for my mind to conceive. I don't think I could do it, regardless of what the greater purpose after 12 or 30 years might be. In fact, to be honest, I'm not sure I could do it for a year...or six months...or less, even.
Wow.
You know, I've loved Christmas both years that I've had a baby because as I hold that baby and worship Christ, singing Christmas songs about Him coming as a baby, it truly hits home.
Our Lord came to this earth as a baby. While many people watched and waited – and still do – for Him to come as a triumphant king, He came as a baby – and a poor one at that – and lived a humble life. He died a humble death as a common criminal. And then...here's the triumphant part, which many have missed as they wait for Him to come in glory...He triumphed over sin and death. He ROSE from the grave and ascended into Heaven. He IS triumphant. He IS victorious. He IS deserving of all worship and honor and glory and majesty and praise.
Grace!
This week, our small group Bible study is on grace! It's about time, as most of the other chapters in the book are very, very convicting!
I love these verses:
Hebrews 4:16 -> "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in the time of need."
Romans 5:15-17 -> "But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by one man's offense, many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many.
"And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgement which came from the one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification.
"For if by one man's offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ."
I love these verses:
Hebrews 4:16 -> "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in the time of need."
Romans 5:15-17 -> "But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by one man's offense, many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many.
"And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgement which came from the one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification.
"For if by one man's offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ."
Failing in the commitment department
Okay, not doing so good here...I haven't done any more studies on the names of Jesus. Honestly, I forgot. And yesterday I didn't do my QT at all because I overslept and had to get some work done before small group.
Here's where I'd usually just give up – "Agh, I can't do it. Might as well not even try." But I'm not going to this time. I'm just going to keep plugging away. I want to live a life of devotion to my Lord. I want to honor Him and spend time with His each day. And – truthfully – I want to set a good example for my daughters so that as they get older, it will hopefully not be quite as big a struggle for them as it's been for me!
Here's where I'd usually just give up – "Agh, I can't do it. Might as well not even try." But I'm not going to this time. I'm just going to keep plugging away. I want to live a life of devotion to my Lord. I want to honor Him and spend time with His each day. And – truthfully – I want to set a good example for my daughters so that as they get older, it will hopefully not be quite as big a struggle for them as it's been for me!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Prince of Peace
Agh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just lost my post about Jesus being the Prince of Peace. It was a long and detailed word study, and I don't have time to redo it right now. :(
The names of Jesus
Our pastor gave us a meditation exercise to use this Christmas season, meditating each day on one of the names of Jesus. I admit I didn't start it last week like I should have, but I figured it's not too late to do it now and do one a day between now and Christmas – I have 11 here on my list, so if I find more, I'll keep going as long as those last. Then maybe I'll move on to names of God, but we'll see.
Anyway, the list of names taken from Isaiah 9, Luke 2 and Matthew 1 – which all talk about the birth of our Lord – is:
A child
A son
Wonderful Counselor
Mighty God
Everlasting Father
Prince of Peace
Savior
Christ
Lord
Jesus
Immanuel
I'm going to start with Prince of Peace because that name has a lot of significance for me. During both of my miscarriages, I have been so blessed to so intimately know Christ as the Prince of Peace that gives me the peace and strength to get through the emotions and the pain. I know there are women who struggle for years after a m/c, and I am thankful that Christ meets me where I'm at and fills my heart with joy and peace in the midst of my grief.
Anyway, I did want to add this little note about meditation from our pastor:
"The concept of meditation is neither new or Christian. What sets Christian meditation apart is that it seeks to fill the mind with thoughts and images of God versus a more secular practice that seeks to empty oneself."
Okay I'll start a new post with the name "Prince of Peace."
Anyway, the list of names taken from Isaiah 9, Luke 2 and Matthew 1 – which all talk about the birth of our Lord – is:
A child
A son
Wonderful Counselor
Mighty God
Everlasting Father
Prince of Peace
Savior
Christ
Lord
Jesus
Immanuel
I'm going to start with Prince of Peace because that name has a lot of significance for me. During both of my miscarriages, I have been so blessed to so intimately know Christ as the Prince of Peace that gives me the peace and strength to get through the emotions and the pain. I know there are women who struggle for years after a m/c, and I am thankful that Christ meets me where I'm at and fills my heart with joy and peace in the midst of my grief.
Anyway, I did want to add this little note about meditation from our pastor:
"The concept of meditation is neither new or Christian. What sets Christian meditation apart is that it seeks to fill the mind with thoughts and images of God versus a more secular practice that seeks to empty oneself."
Okay I'll start a new post with the name "Prince of Peace."
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Where have I been?
Ok, so maybe we need to add this blog to the abandoned blog list. I don't want to, but I'm really not sure how to keep up.
There's two issues:
1. Because I am doing my small group Bible study as the foundation of my quiet time, I am already writing out so much in my book that I'm not sure what's left to say here.
2. Because this Bible study is VERY deep and VERY convicting, a lot of what I have to say really can't be shared here – it's too personal (and you know that means it must be REALLY personal, because I'm pretty much an open book most of the time!)
But God is doing some awesome things in my life. So far we have studied Revival (an overview for the study), Humbleness, Honesty and this week is Repentance.
Let me just tell you, I didn't even put the effort I should have into those first studies. There was a huge area in my life that I had not turned over to Christ, and it was a stumbling block in my relationship with Him (as well as with Sean!).
So last week I was feeling VERY discouraged on Wednesday morning, having just lost our precious Taylor, and I did not want to go to Bible study. I'm sure no one would have blamed me had I not shown up, but I had to take LinZ to help with childcare for the study anyway, so I decided to just go.
Well, I am so glad that I did. The study – honesty with ourselves, others and God – was one of the most convicting, powerful studies I've ever been to. At the end, our group each confessed a sin/area we were struggling with and committed to praying for each other. We were all in tears, and yet the openness and honesty was amazing!
So anyway, with that burden lifted, it's as if I'm seeing the world through a whole new light, and I am excited to see what God has in store!
I am going to try to blog here some more, but no promises yet...
There's two issues:
1. Because I am doing my small group Bible study as the foundation of my quiet time, I am already writing out so much in my book that I'm not sure what's left to say here.
2. Because this Bible study is VERY deep and VERY convicting, a lot of what I have to say really can't be shared here – it's too personal (and you know that means it must be REALLY personal, because I'm pretty much an open book most of the time!)
But God is doing some awesome things in my life. So far we have studied Revival (an overview for the study), Humbleness, Honesty and this week is Repentance.
Let me just tell you, I didn't even put the effort I should have into those first studies. There was a huge area in my life that I had not turned over to Christ, and it was a stumbling block in my relationship with Him (as well as with Sean!).
So last week I was feeling VERY discouraged on Wednesday morning, having just lost our precious Taylor, and I did not want to go to Bible study. I'm sure no one would have blamed me had I not shown up, but I had to take LinZ to help with childcare for the study anyway, so I decided to just go.
Well, I am so glad that I did. The study – honesty with ourselves, others and God – was one of the most convicting, powerful studies I've ever been to. At the end, our group each confessed a sin/area we were struggling with and committed to praying for each other. We were all in tears, and yet the openness and honesty was amazing!
So anyway, with that burden lifted, it's as if I'm seeing the world through a whole new light, and I am excited to see what God has in store!
I am going to try to blog here some more, but no promises yet...
Saturday, October 14, 2006
I haven't disappeared
I'm still here, but things have been so hectic, and I didn't get a chance to journal last week. I started the Purity Challenge study with my little sis, and today I started Seeking Him: Experience the Joy of Personal Revival, which we're doing in our small group.
I have have been part of a small group (well, since highschool), and I am LOVING it! I am anxious and excited to do this book because it's definitely a call to personal and corporate revival and not at all wishy-washy.
Hosea 10:12 (NKJV)
"Break up your fallow ground,
For it is time to seek the Lord,
Till he comes and rains righteousness on you."
The first lesson had us read the following passages: 2 Kings 22:8-13, 18-20, Ezra 10:1-12, Jeremiah 3:19-4:4, James 4:4-10, each of which talks about God's people coming to Him broken and the revival He brought about in their lives.
Lord, I am ready for a revival. Lord, I want to be broken before You, acutely aware of any and all sin that seperates me from You, repentant and ready to follow You wherever You may call me. Holy Spirit, I pray that my heart would be soft and ripe to hear what you have to say to me. Lord, like King Josiah, I want to hear Your Word and fall on my knees before You. Thank You that You hear my cry and that You promise to lift my feet up and set me on a firm foundation. I pray, Lord, that you would bring about revival in the hearts of each women in our small group, that we would all seek after You in new, fresh, deeper ways, and that You would meet us where we're at. In Jesus name, Amen.
I have have been part of a small group (well, since highschool), and I am LOVING it! I am anxious and excited to do this book because it's definitely a call to personal and corporate revival and not at all wishy-washy.
Hosea 10:12 (NKJV)
"Break up your fallow ground,
For it is time to seek the Lord,
Till he comes and rains righteousness on you."
The first lesson had us read the following passages: 2 Kings 22:8-13, 18-20, Ezra 10:1-12, Jeremiah 3:19-4:4, James 4:4-10, each of which talks about God's people coming to Him broken and the revival He brought about in their lives.
Lord, I am ready for a revival. Lord, I want to be broken before You, acutely aware of any and all sin that seperates me from You, repentant and ready to follow You wherever You may call me. Holy Spirit, I pray that my heart would be soft and ripe to hear what you have to say to me. Lord, like King Josiah, I want to hear Your Word and fall on my knees before You. Thank You that You hear my cry and that You promise to lift my feet up and set me on a firm foundation. I pray, Lord, that you would bring about revival in the hearts of each women in our small group, that we would all seek after You in new, fresh, deeper ways, and that You would meet us where we're at. In Jesus name, Amen.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Have you ever gotten stuck thinking about one of those unfathomable questions...
...just going 'round and 'round in your mind trying to make sense of it?
This week I've been thinking a lot about our appointed time of death. Lovely subject, eh? It's not that I'm preoccupied on the death part of it, but more on the sovereignty of God part of it.
Here's how the whole thing got started...I happened to think of and mention to LinZ that I wanted to get some of those scissors made to cut through seatbelts because in an emergency, it would make it much easier to get the girls out of their carseats. Her response was that if it was their time to die, they would, and if it wasn't, they wouldn't.
That's where I get stuck...see, I *think* I believe that. I really do. BUT, doesn't God expect us to be reasonable? I mean, if you jump off the Empire State Building, chances are you're gonna die. Obviously, God has allowed that to happen, but I certainly don't think he caused it.
I think what it really boils down to is fear. Now, I'm really not that fearful. I do tend to overthing things, and I like to be prepared, but I don't fear the death of my children. My heart breaks at the thought of losing them...but that's my pure selfishness. In reality, if something were to happen to them, I am confident in the goodness of our God, and knowing they were with him in Heaven makes it bearable to even consider. (Uh, the caveat to that is I simply cannot bear the thought of them being kidnapped or taken - I beg God regularly to please not let that happen to them...again, it's not the death part but the rest of it...I seriously cannot even think about it.)
Okay, so it comes down to me choosing to believe that God is in control and not trying to figure out all the ins and outs of it, but I am SO analytical, that I really wanna know where that balance is - or if there is evan a balance.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) -
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'"
2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) -
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
Psalm 91:4-6 (NIV) -
"He (God) will cover you with His feathers,
and under His wings, you will find refuge;
His faithfullness will be your shield and your rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday."
Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV) -
"'For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.'"
This week I've been thinking a lot about our appointed time of death. Lovely subject, eh? It's not that I'm preoccupied on the death part of it, but more on the sovereignty of God part of it.
Here's how the whole thing got started...I happened to think of and mention to LinZ that I wanted to get some of those scissors made to cut through seatbelts because in an emergency, it would make it much easier to get the girls out of their carseats. Her response was that if it was their time to die, they would, and if it wasn't, they wouldn't.
That's where I get stuck...see, I *think* I believe that. I really do. BUT, doesn't God expect us to be reasonable? I mean, if you jump off the Empire State Building, chances are you're gonna die. Obviously, God has allowed that to happen, but I certainly don't think he caused it.
I think what it really boils down to is fear. Now, I'm really not that fearful. I do tend to overthing things, and I like to be prepared, but I don't fear the death of my children. My heart breaks at the thought of losing them...but that's my pure selfishness. In reality, if something were to happen to them, I am confident in the goodness of our God, and knowing they were with him in Heaven makes it bearable to even consider. (Uh, the caveat to that is I simply cannot bear the thought of them being kidnapped or taken - I beg God regularly to please not let that happen to them...again, it's not the death part but the rest of it...I seriously cannot even think about it.)
Okay, so it comes down to me choosing to believe that God is in control and not trying to figure out all the ins and outs of it, but I am SO analytical, that I really wanna know where that balance is - or if there is evan a balance.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) -
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'"
2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) -
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
Psalm 91:4-6 (NIV) -
"He (God) will cover you with His feathers,
and under His wings, you will find refuge;
His faithfullness will be your shield and your rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday."
Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV) -
"'For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.'"
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